To help me work through the reasons why a partner won’t pick up the phone, I contacted Maria Sullivan, a relationship expert and vice president of Dating.com, who tells Elite Daily that having some standards about how much communication you have with your partner is perfectly fine. However, she emphasizes the importance of letting them know your desires early on in the relationship so that you’re still on the same page. “When dating someone, it’s important to note that everyone has different wants and needs,” Sullivan tells Elite Daily. “You should always discuss your desires and needs with your partner.” After all, it’s one thing if they aren’t fulfilling needs you aren’t aware of, and it’s quite another if they simply forget you by not returning your calls. If you’ve set (and communicated) your goals and they’re still not being met, Sullivan suggests the following.
1. They’re simply stressed or overworked.
If your partner is unavailable when you call, the first thing to remember, according to Sullivan, is what is going on in their life. “If your partner is anxious or distracted, you might expect a drop in responsiveness or an overall loss of communication,” she says. In other words, if they are dealing with something new or emotionally taxing in their lives, their lack of contact may simply be due to a lack of ability to speak on the phone right now. If you think this is the case, Sullivan recommends having a face-to-face chat with them to check in and see how they are doing. “Just ask them how they’re doing,” she advises. “If they say they’re stressed, you can normally assume that’s why they’re not picking up your phone calls.” If that’s the case, give them some room. They’ll return after the bump in the road.”
2. They aren’t interested in the relationship any longer.
If they aren’t preoccupied or anxious, there might be another reason why they aren’t answering your calls, according to Sullivan. It may be an indication that they are losing interest in the partnership and are withdrawing. “If you can’t seem to reach your partner and they’re silent when you try to meet up or make plans, chances are they’re not that into you anymore,” she says. Cold, but a possibility if the relationship is deteriorating on a larger scale.
3. There’s something they’re concealing.
According to Sullivan, avoiding your phone calls might indicate that your partner is attempting to conceal those habits from you. She suggests that you pay attention to whether they ignore your calls in order to figure out what’s going on. “Is it late at night?” says the narrator. Is it just on the weekends? How about first thing in the morning? If you answered yes to all of these questions, there’s a good chance something fishy is going on, she warns. “This is a red flag that they weren’t responding for a cause they don’t want you to know about.”