What I’m about to share with you, happened when I was 14 years old. Each one of us may have his or her own version. Mine has been spiced up a little bit to make it more palatable. In one way or the other, it has happened to most of us when we were young. I hope you will learn from it. So, relax in your chair if you are reading from your computer or hold firmly your phone or tablet and pay rapt attention to what is coming.
When I was 14 as I said earlier, I had a very good pal who I loved and cherished so much that I couldn’t do anything without him. I hated seeing him unsympathetic because of me for any reason. All I wanted was to always please and make him cheerful and joyful.
Was the love reciprocal? I would say a resounding “Yes” to that question. Why? Because I really enjoyed being in his company than that of anyone else of our age, in our class and in our area. My reason for loving him might seem strange to you, but to me, it made a lot of meaning and understandings.
We used to laugh, dance, chat, play, smile and do many more things together. These things were what excited me so much about my loving pal.
Before we continue, let me tell you that he was full of wisdom, and knowledgeable about everything, not about me only, but about life’s tricks and tips in general. He always remembered the consequences of not obeying them. So, you understand now why we were inseparable, unstoppable. He knew when to joke, when to play; when to work; when to advise; when to talk; when to keep quiet; when to do any other thing. If I am not happy, because my parents beat me, he will stand at my side, console me, and give me the right steps to take the next time to avoid these troubles and unwelcoming events.
I hope by now, you wish you had such a friend at that age. Don’t worry. Keep on reading.
We grew up together and our relationship became stronger and stronger day by day. He taught me how to deal with any situation life brought on. I acknowledged his presence in my life so that I let her know everything about me and followed every aspect of his teaching, coaching, and mentoring.
One practical thing he taught me which I still use up-to-date is to Create Habits and Rituals.
He explained to me that creating habits and rituals is very powerful to achieve what I wanted to do and attain in life.
He quoted “Our subconscious is automated, so we only have 5% of our conscious mind to fight the subconscious habits we have built over months, years and, in some cases, a lifetime.”
This is a strong reason for us to create habits and rituals in order to combat that subconscious.
He gave me a typical example. If you want to start running but find yourself continuing to hit the snooze button. You do know that the more specific you get, the more the mind helps you with motivation: drive, energy, enthusiasm, focus, optimism, and creativity. He backed everything with research. In fact, he reminded me that research shows that when a person takes the time to think through the “what, where and when” of a new task, they are 70% more likely to achieve.
Creating hyper-specificity will do this for you. In the case of running in the morning, you can list out very specific steps to help you get up and moving.
This comprehensive step by step example of running or jogging in the morning could be useful to you too in many ways. Please read carefully.
Step 1: Set the goal to get up and run at 6 am.
Step 2: Layout clothes the night before.
Step 3: Set an alarm and put it on the other side of the room.
How many steps is it from the bed to the alarm?
Step 4: Determine to turn on the lights while walking to turn off the alarm. How many steps is it to the light and then to the alarm?
Step 5: Get in bed, turn off the TV, and go to sleep at 9 pm with a mental vision of waking up energized to run.
Step 6: Walk the pre-determined number of steps to the bathroom to splash water on your face.
Step 7: Walk the pre-determined steps to the clothes that were put out the night before, put them on, and put on shoes.
Step 8: Walk to the kitchen.
Step 9: Drink a glass of water.
Step 11: Walk to the door using the number you’ve already counted.
Step 12: Warm-up and start running.
You got the point. This helps because you engage senses: mind, might, and heart with clarity through specificity. Your mind, which wants to make you act like the picture you have of yourself, then delivers the energy, drive, and motivation.
Your chances of getting up and running will jump exponentially. This is because in your subconscious mind, where your habits are stored, there’s absolutely no question about what you want. Please don’t ask me if I am a mindfulness coach. No. I work in a sports academy.
Rituals are very important. A ritual is partly defined as a ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order. You need this amount of specificity to overcome the force of habit. Focusing and using rituals can help you completely restructure habits and behaviors to achieve more powerfully.
By now, I guess you are asking what my friend’s name was. You are right. You deserve it. The name will be revealed in the next paragraphs. So continue reading till the very end because it is hidden in one of them. Wait. This is an interesting part of the story. It is overwhelming. The plot would be amazing over and beyond your expectations. So don’t quit. Let’s go.
Sometimes, I felt like he was doing too much. So I disobeyed him one day. What happened later will astonish you. One cool morning, my mum told me to watch over the bean she was cooking, that she’ll soon be back from the market. After some time, a neighbor came and requested we play football, a game I loved so much. I didn’t hesitate at all. I accepted the offer, and the football game started outside the house in the nearby pack. . We played, played forgetting that something was on fire.
After one and a half hours, my friend came. He asked if we had anything to eat. It was then that I remembered something was on fire. We quickly ran to the house. To our surprise, the casserole was about to flame. The bean was calcined and turned into charcoal. He explained to me that if we hadn’t come at that time, my action could have put the whole house on fire. I was scared by the thought that my parents, brother’s property, and belongings would disappear because of my wrong action. “What our life would become,” I soliloquized. Then, I lamented “I’m dead! Mum will kill me today”.
I told my neighbor that I wanted to come and check this, but that boy told me to hold on. Now, look at what had happened. I cried and blamed myself and him. What had happened had happened. Nothing could be done.
My best friend was very sympathetic and started moralizing me
He later concocted a plan, that I should continue crying till mummy comes back, “If she sees that you’ve cried your eyes out, she’ll not beat you” he suggested. That’s was clever, wasn’t it?
So, I started. I cried till the ocean water from my eyes got nearly finished. As that was not sufficient enough, I went ahead to throw pepper directly into my eyes to get more tears. It was not easy at all. Youngsters trying to cover up their mistakes. I hope you too did something similar before.
Did his plans work? Continue reading if you want to know.
That day, when my mother came back, she didn’t even mind my tears; she beat, beat, and beat me again till all my body was covered with the wound. I asked myself whether she was truly my mother or loves me. How would she beat me Iike that? In fact, I suffered!
It didn’t stop there. Mum reported me to dad when he got back from work, and he too gave me the very tightest correction of my life. I prayed for my life to end that day but it didn’t happen.
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As if that wasn’t enough, I was not given food to eat throughout that day.
You can imagine the pain, the hunger, and the sorrow that were going through my mind and my whole body. That shouldn’t happen to anyone of you. Don’t even wish it to your worst enemy.
That day I told my friend that we should break up. He gave me the wrong advice. But wasn’t my own decision that brought this state? I then remembered all the praises I would have received if I followed his advice, instead. If I did, I wouldn’t have been blamed and even beaten. Now, I’ve learned my lesson. My friend was indeed a good adviser and mentor.
From that day onwards, I decided to listen to my friend’s advice and act on it correspondingly.
Now, I’m free from all form of blame and beating, I then took my chores and assignments very seriously. I couldn’t even remember the last time I was beaten, because I was now an obedient, disciplined, and hard-working boy. I was even awarded the best-behaved child in the house and even at school at our school’s end of the year party.
Before I sign off, let me tell you now my friend’s name.
His is called SELF-DISCIPLINE. Do What You Say You Will Do.
SELF-DISCIPLINE is a critical factor whether you want to be more productive, procrastinate less, get promoted, be more positive, better manage emotions, or improve relationships. Those with self-restraint are more content, satisfied, and happier.
It is rather is a quality we should all cultivate daily. Its job is to help you do the right thing at the right time. If you haven’t befriended him yet, please do. It will prevent you from distractions, temptations, and vices on daily basis.
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